Good Medicine

“Health is set before us as if it were the great thing to be desired above all other things. It is so? I would venture to say that the greatest blessing that God can give to any of us is health, with the exception of sickness. Sickness has frequently been of more use to the saints of God than health has. If some men, that I know of, could only be favoured with a month of rheumatism, it would, by God’s grace, mellow them marvelously.”
- C. H. Spurgeon, An All-Round Ministry

The body is a strange thing. It is both something we have and something we are. In some ways, we put it in submission, and in others, we work within its borders.

This marks my 25th year since being diagnosed with rheumatism (specifically polyarticular juvenile idiopathic arthritis). I don’t remember my first flare or those early doctor visits. I do remember the cream puffs we would get in German Village after trips to Columbus Children’s. 

July is also Juvenile Arthritis Awareness Month, so here’s my little part in spreading awareness. I was fortunate to be diagnosed and treated quickly. That isn’t always the case for parents and providers less familiar with autoimmune diseases and how they can manifest. 

If you want to know more, visit: Arthritis Foundation.

Read on for some reflections on my “silver” anniversary…

I grew up under the assumption, and hope, that I would outgrow the disease before adulthood. This can be the case with juvenile arthritis, but it hasn’t been for me. I flared in high school, then again in college. With high disease activity after puberty, my rheumatologist prepared me for a longer journey. While I knew I had an incurable illness, I hadn’t yet thought of it as chronic.

The shift is like thinking you’re in for a wet spring to find out you live in Washington State. 

I have a lot of dry, sunny days. I also have a lot of days working with an umbrella. And a few others spent sheltered from a squall. 

There are many worse things than Rheumatoid Arthritis. Worry is paralyzing. 

We don’t need help finding things to worry about. What if the medication doesn’t work and I have to do [x] again? What if I’m this tired forever? What if more joints get affected? What if I make a mistake and damage my body for the future? 

Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to your life?
Since you cannot do this very little thing, why do you worry about the rest? - Luke 12:25-26

On the surface, my worries are true. I can’t control any of those things and I’m not intended to. In seeking God about my health, He addressed my discontent. Often I have to choose obedience, to give those fears of the future to God — more like a child asking to be carried than a show of strong willpower — and am given thankfulness, cheerfulness, and rest.

We steward finite resources. 

During a flare, the fatigue doesn’t let you do much of anything. Or you have a burst of energy followed by a crash. Other people seem to go on like the Energizer Bunny while I have months of functioning like an old iPhone battery. 

Jesus’ Parable of the Talents speaks to this (Matthew 25:14-30). It doesn’t matter how much you’re given, it’s how faithful you are with it. More directly, Peter writes, 

“Each of you should use whatever gift you have received to serve others,
as faithful stewards of God’s grace in its various forms.” - 1 Peter 4:10

God’s grace looks different in my life than someone else’s. At times, I rely on prayer to accomplish daily tasks so my faith is uniquely strengthened. Grace. I have less energy, which means I need more wisdom with how I invest it. Grace. Since God is faithful to give wisdom to those who ask (James 1:5) I have wisdom to steward. Grace! 

Expecting pain makes it easier. 

Scripture prepares the Christian for suffering. About persecution, Peter writes, “Dear friends, do not be surprised…as though something strange were happening to you” (1 Peter 4:12).

Speaking of God’s grace, He’s produced in me a higher tolerance to pain and limitation. Many people don’t experience physical limitations until they are older and are surprised, angered, or in denial that their bodies cannot keep up with their minds. While this virtue isn’t complete in me, I’ve been given a head start and it’s given me sensitivity for people experiencing this for the first time.

Careful of what you trust. 

I also have ample blessings. I live mostly without pain. I don’t struggle to get medical care. I’m educated, employed, have a life in the arts, and can expect a long life. But here comes another temptation: hope isn’t found in counting your blessings. It’s good to be thankful, but hope isn’t found in God’s material gifts. 

“[W]e also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope.”
- Romans 5:3-4

The Amplified translates this as the “joyful and confident hope of eternal salvation.”
Godly wisdom is so backward to our natural thinking! Hope is produced via suffering. 

Do you usually see someone suffering and think, “Wow! They’re so joyful and confident”? This is not a natural response. Contentment is something we have to learn. Peace, patience, and self-control are fruit grown over time. 

Guard against pride.

In his Sermon on Cross and Suffering, Martin Luther rebukes “fanatics who choose their own cross” as if suffering gave them merit. Being chronically ill does not make anyone a better person. Our best efforts are filthy rags; in the same way, our best suffering – apart from God – is worthless. God promises to work together all things for His glory and the good of those who love Him (Romans 8:28). Even sickness (John 11:4). Even the consequences of our sin (1 Timothy 1:15-16). Even what is intended to harm us (Genesis 50:20). But it has to be surrendered to Him.

You’re going to experience pain, and unless Jesus comes back in our lifetimes, you’re going to die. Scripture prepares us for both. The goal is not to avoid suffering, rack up points in our suffering, or read into our suffering. Likewise, life isn’t spent merely seeking blessings, giving ourselves credit for our good circumstances, or dwelling on our good things. All of this can be done under the guise of spirituality, but it leads to death. 

Even for the Christian who is given eternal life, we can hold on to our disappointment and watch it rot (and be shocked about that) or we can give it to the only One capable of redeeming what is otherwise worthless and destructive.  

It’s okay to mourn the effects of sin. 

I would not recommend an autoimmune disease. It’s a reminder of what I inherited from Adam. I don’t have to be falsely positive about the reality of it. After all, lying is a sin. I don’t have to love feeling nauseous from my medication. I don’t have to be giddy about bloodwork or draining synovial fluid. I don’t have to like physical therapy. 

But even though we mourn, Christians don’t mourn as the world does (1 Thessalonians 4:13). I can speak the truth about today’s reality, but I can speak the whole Truth. More, I can rejoice and give thanks in all circumstances (1 Thessalonians 5:16-18).

I believe in the resurrection of the body. 

Christianity teaches Jesus’ resurrection from the dead was the first fruit of a coming resurrection (1 Corinthians 15:20). The goal isn’t to disregard the body. Our hope includes resurrected bodies that are physically transformed (Philippians 3:20-21). Your body isn’t forgotten in God’s redemptive plan. 

And it’s not just for the future! The Holy Spirit lives inside my body so I’m responsible to treat my body accordingly (1 Corinthians 6:19-20). That includes stewarding the use of my temple, taking care to repair my temple, and honoring it as a temple.

Trust His re-direction.

I haven’t mentioned much about art, so here’s a tidbit to help me close. 

Another blessing I’ve been given through my JIA is theatre. I loved dancing, but pointe posed an extra risk for joint damage. I love visual art, but the physical requirements on my hands made it difficult. These nos helped direct me to audition for school plays.

It’s not God’s great eternal plan to get me on stage; that would be silly. But I’m grateful for my experience with second choices and recognize this is one way I’ve learned to trust re-direction. I believe that is the great eternal plan: to trust the Good Shepherd and love His guidance, whether in green pastures or through dark valleys…or just to the doctor’s office.

Thank you for reading so long. I’ll write a practical article about managing health and a theatre career someday, but this is more useful. For yourself, dear reader, and for me, I pray like the Apostle John, 

“Beloved, I pray that you may prosper in all things and be in health, just as your soul prospers.” - 3 John 2